Monday, November 11, 2013

The Crusader Against Corruption

Mr. Crusader

I went to that office in Logic Park in my regular bid to sell a Life Insurance Policy or two, but chanced to meet this Mr. Crusader. Lately being an Activist or the Crusader Against Corruption in India is the new big thing. Look mate, you gotta be a Crusader else you are an outcast, you are not a true Indian and so on and so forth. Although this Mr. Crusader did tell me that he does work in that office, but it's not his true identity. He emphasized that in real sense he is a 'Crusader'. But one has to earn a living, so in his free time called a permanent job, he does 'even this' - 'even this ' means writing code and rewriting excel sheets.
He carried an Aura of crusaders. The Halo was missing but curly hair, very fair, eyes so blue, lovely too, 37 stickers, statistics of all the scams on fingertips, information about all exit polls-- all these suggested that if Brahma would ever hate corruption and Vishnu ever decides to re-incarnate as a Crusader, it would be him. In a jiffy, I was in his boat. Sir, you are the crusader, our second last hope against this war against corruption. You are petty coder just because of some petty calculation mistake up above in the Heavens. I am sure they are working on it. Soon a patch will be released and that Halo will show up.
I had sales targets flashing. My job is to sell Life insurance and I will frigging sell it to dead man with a pending death certificate. I was well aware of the Insurance Sellers' Code of Conduct to talk to the Crusader clan. According to Article 7(g) sub-section (iii)  of this CoC --

7(g) (iii) If any Crusader himself mentions that he is an Activist and no later than sooner he will give up his job to become a full time Activists Against Corruption, always believe him. (And this decision will be taken in a democratic way. You can vote whether or not Crusader should quit the job at or can SMS Y @4209211)
Declare him the biggest crusader of all times. If possible say that you can even see his halo. Even compare him with some IITians. Just sell the frigging Policy. You can hit the bulls eye if your conversation contains 'Lokpal' this word more than 37 times.

I had my complete paper work with me. All I needed was the crusader's signature and a mandate to  debit his account by some ( read handsome) amount.
I followed the CoC. Talked to him about the plight of India and how her present ruling class has become so tyrannic and shameless. I learnt about how hard he prepared for IIT. How he made it to the best private college of Karnataka. And how it happens in United States. (As I had never been there but still I said that they have some great crusaders against corruption there and you and your movement should also think of expanding your service to the States). I learnt how Singapore and Hong Kong got rid of corruption overnight.
I was doing good. He almost signed the documents.
Sir, now you can save full one lakh under 80 C
'Listen, ' he called me. "Do you know someone who can provide me fake rent receipts of  15K per month?"
'Yes sir, there is a shop next to your Crusade Against Corruption head office. Everyone buys it from there ....'
I started my scooter. The spare stepeny wheel-cover read -- 'Crusade Against Corruption'

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