MSE-The School Days- Hopeless Creature

My enmity with Manish was about two years old, when we were in fifth standard. Since then we did not talk to each other. Infact, we changed our home so there was no reason seeing him again. But now all of a sudden he was in front of me. I gave him a half smile. He offered me a seat next to him.

“Kid, do you remember this scar you gave me” he said pointing to a big mark behind his ear lobe.

“Ya” I replied with a thanking smile.

“Friends” he said. We shook hands.

Thus I became the lone kiddish member of his group of big bullies. It was like instant oxygen to me. Now no one can deny me notes or the practice material. He even helped me by getting my work done by some chintoo creatures by bullying them. Now my only problems were on the studies front. I did not understand English. My writing speed was slow. My class work as well as home work was incomplete. My copies were unchecked. And moreover it was the fundamental right of every teacher to scold me. Most of the times I attended the class sitting on the floor. Teachers would come and ask about the homework, classwork, copies and other things and then order me to sit on the floor and complete my work. While other students of my kind used to hesitate but I was never ashamed. I would come out shamelessly take some hasty steps to my marked corner and cross my legs and leisurely sit on the floor. I loved this punishment because I could get a bird’s eye view of whole class from here. I could tease my tease my buddies, pass on some teethy smiles to some of the prettiest girls, and put my pen in mouth and day dream about whatever I wanted. I believe this was the time and instance which later on turned me into an addictive day dreamer. One more reason why I liked this punishment was that it did make a lot of my class-girls laugh. They would not talk to me but at least could laugh at me. Slowly but steadily I was becoming notorious (although I believed I was becoming popular). All the teachers, students of the other sections as well as the seniors would ask, “Are you the same? Heard a lot about you?” It would inflate my chest for about two inches. Stories of my hopelessness were crossing the boundaries.

Did I Earn a Date...?

Well, with due apologies towards All Boys Association (ABA) and Bajrangi Dal* I shamefully pronounce that off late I have been experiencing the pitfall of dating. Exclusively mentioning – I sinfully dated a girl.

By the way my personal record of Dating-Frequently and Frequent-Dating is still intact.
@Maximum 5 dates a day with none of my dates lasting more than three dates. So the fortunate (same level of fortune as Harman brings to Priyanka) incident took place in an Astounding Place called Sahara Gunj (If I begin appraisal of this place, surely will I need another story). Remember, if you have not seen this mall than your visit to West Edmonton Mall (if you have been there) is nullified. Finding what you want is a real task in this place and if what you want is called shoes then I am sure it’s better to follow Mahatma Gandhi. I really have no idea so as to where do they get their inventory from. You won’t find any thing which is unflashy and less than a 3-4 thousand. They are so blue so green so red so that I started believing in those chee-chee shoes of my one year old niece. At last I decided to leave the place and chose the escalator way instead of the elevator which already was showing the overload signal.

~While I was trying my luck and skills with the escalator (remember me you need sheer luck and a Diploma in Escalator Alightment if you want to alight one at Sahara Gunj), a mass of approx. 45 Kg. collided with a perfectly plastic body(my Universal Elastic Constant is zero) from rear with a momentum of 550 Kg.-m/sec. With the sheer nature of impact I understood that it was me who has to be sorry irrespective of whose mistake it was. This was the time when I came to know that I am real bad at approximations because the colliding object at least 20-30% in excess of my approximation.

“Oh my God!! BEEP-BEEP, tum yahan kaise!!!” She said (Adult content prohibited. As I also am mathematically an adult so you will hear beep-beep instead of my name)
(Kyon main yahan aa nahin sakta kya? As if I was an untouchable in a pro-Manu society and this mall was a great temple. Ya fir meri shakal pe likha hai ki meri jeb mein paise nahin hain and this mall needs a big ticket.)

“Tum batao tum kaisee ho!!” I was trying to identify her. But in all I was in the seventh heaven because it was for the first time that a girlish creature has identified me in public. I already started looking a perspective date in her. What if I did not identify her, I was trying hard.


“You know, today itself we were talking about you. Infact, I was about to call you. Your file is with me.” I was clueless so as to which file she was talking about and why was she about to call me.

“Aur batao baki log kaise hain?” I asked this so that I can get a clue whether she was with me in school, college or somewhere else.

After a brief conversation I recalled that we were schoolmates. Danke, gut!! Soon I also came to know that she was something something in some bank and had a meeting with my loan application this afternoon.
By now I started thinking that I have impresssed her substancially; afterall she has seen my salary slip, my stocks and securities status, my bank acoount statement, my 3X3 H1B type photograph. Moreover she had seen me sucessfully getting the space for my two feet on that escalator. What else could I ask for?

Within minutes we were like deadlocked pals. I wanted to ask her number but did not want to look desparate. I was pretending as if I had scores of girlfriends and was not interested too much in this old school pal. The reality was that I wanted only one thing - her phone number. She was talking a hell lot about old school mates which I harly remembered but was trying hard to remember.

Finally I was able to take two things from her- 1. her number and 2. a promise to be in touch.
By the way I was more interested in that touch thing.

At around 10 PM I got a call from her, "Did you reach safely? Just wanted to ask." In fact I was a bit disturebed by her call. I thought that I should have called her and asked the same thing. How rude of me? I took a pause and said, "Just reached"

"Why so late? Raste me kahin ruk gaye the- girlfriend-shirlfriend!!" I was so shocked to hear the tone and the level of intimacy she poured into this sentence. As usual I was unable to make out whether this intimacy was normal or implied? I had no clue what did it mean?

So guys the story is up to you... I will complete it but let me give you the opportunity to guess the advancements...... comments welcome......